Not Ready!

*begin rant*

There are days like today when I am just not ready to be a mom. Not ready to be a wife, a homemaker. I just don't want to be. All of these labels are just too constricting, too tight and I feel like I can't breathe. Cannot Breathe.

When the LO is being especially clingy & not eating properly & fighting every damn nap?!

When the husband is so stressed at work that he doesn't even have one nice smile/word to say to you when he gets back home!

When according to ur mother, ur feeding your LO all the wrong things & that's why she is not eating right now!

When according to all the parenting books, all the choices you have made so far are responsible for your life with the LO not being instagram-perfect!

Gah

All I want is one damn minute of peace to myself

All I want is to go back & denounce these roles...I just want to be. Just be.

All I want is to not go to sleep with yet another heavy head, another fight and another miserable day under the belt - is that too much to ask for?

*sigh*

*end rant*

Back Yet Again!

And I'm back to blogging! After a 2 year gap this time. What is it about blogging, writing that keeps pulling me back again & again? Well, whatever it is, I am happy to be back! And with so many changes to boot!

First & foremost is the addition of the biggest relationship title of my life ever, Mother! Yes I am now the proud mother of the delightfully loud & gorgeous little girl! Joining Sunshine & Bumblebee, the newest feature of this blog is my darling little one!

Wow has life changed. Questions of life & marriage & partnership now meander to questions of parenting, philosophy, the kind of child I want to raise and the right amount of push I want to give for her to achieve milestones organically! Isn't it funny how we live in a generation where we are already talking about milestones for a mere 8 month old. And yet thats the society we live in today. Comparisons run galore right from birth!
The challenge & mission in all of this is to respect the child as a whole human being, as someone who is capable of learning, understanding and emoting the full range of life that we as adults do.

To my sweet little one, I dedicate myself to, learning, growing, evolving as only mothers can do. Each time she places her tiny little hand on my bosom as we nurse, she unlocks another piece of my heart, warms yet another wall and fills me up with serenity the likes of which i always chased and never could manage to experience wholly.

I love you Sweetheart, Unconditionally, Irrevocably, Undeniably, Forever. :)