Life & Questions

How do you define space in a marriage? How do you define abilities in a marriage? If you are not good at a certain skill or couldn't care less re it, is it right for your partner who cares so much more about it to keep harping on it? To make judgements, to try to 'improve' the other? To constantly talk about it, as if life would be impossible without?

How do you define what is acceptable to 'nag' about and what isn't? 

*sigh* life is never without questions is it?

Growing up

My bumblebee is growing up...today he says, "I think we should sell my car in the next year or so...start looking into it! Gotta plan for kids na?" Awwww, yes my love - we gotta grow up...perhaps start with replacing your beloved sports car for a sensible option!

I love you babe! *hugz*

WHY?!?

Will the blackmail ever stop? Will the undercutting and emotional drama ever cease? Am I going to victim to yet another temper tantrum just because things are not going your way? Are things never ever going to change? Will you never grow up and be an adult? Someone who can talk, reasonably & objectively? Someone who understands the word empathy...of walking a mile in another's shoe...of understanding perspectives!!! 

When the f*ck are you going to grow up?! Why can't u just talk to me instead of throwing a fit and taunting?!?

And why am I here again, a mature 27 year old, in tears because of what you said, yet again.

Why why why why why why why why???

Heart Melting happened...!!

When I went to school today late in the afternoon (a time and a day when I'm usually in my other school). My almost 3 yr old addddorable child walks up to me having just woken up from nap and rushed towards me saying, "I've missed you Mishu!!!" And followed those words with a biiiiiiiig bear hug!!!! Oh sweetheart, you just made my day, my week & my month!!! *melting in mush*

This is why I would not give up what I do for anything! 😊

Kids!

Having kids is like this unimaginable ocean of emotions, responsibilities and discipline! There are days when I see N's toothy smile or S's warm hugs that it all seems worth that tiny little moment and then there are days when the loudness of it all is terrifying and the responsibility feels insurmountable! And then there's the keepin yourself straight part. How do I think I'll be able to manage a child, when there are days I'm still struggling to manage a house & a husband & studying & school. To add a child in this equation, will I be stretching myself too thin??

Will the constant fears ever end??

Montessori Madness!

One of my fav Montessori vdos out there! A small summary of what I hope to achieve every single day!!

Month Long Travels!

Phew! Its been a full month since we left for vacation! 5 cities & 3 different temperatures! Countless new experiences and new places seen! It has been amazing - sort of hard to even chronicle but I will attempt to as much as I can! :)

Dubai - oh the pleasure of being in a country closer to Asia! Even tho Dubai is so different culture wise from Indo or India...its probably similar in terms of lifestyle to what I grew up with. The convenience of drivers & the stark difference between the working class n service class. It really reminded me of home and made me realize how different US is. Traveling to one of these places & seeing it anew through my US-tinted glasses def made an impact. The city is modern beauty - with its gorgeous high rise buildings & city-like malls! Squashed amidst this modernity is also old Dubai with its gold souks, spice souks & local streets which are not so sophisticated & where the men just stare that much longer at a girl in shorts! lol. somethings will never change in some parts of the world i guess? *shrug*

The awesome part of Dubai was the extreme relaxation me & Bumblebee got to do! We would step out during the day, see a few things, come back exhausted n pass out for a few hours only to wake up starving, close to midnight n try to scrounge some dinner place! it was amazing! Ohhh and i looooove hotels in the Asian part of the world! Somehow any hotel I've been to in the US, isn't able to match the opulence & sheer comfort in that part of the world! Such bliss! :)

India - India was a mixed bag of emotions. The sister-in-laws wedding was sooo much fun! Just catching up with the whole family & getting to see a wedding from this side of the family. The days were long & the nights even longer with conversations stretching late into the night...only to wake up the next morning for more! It was really a wonderful time to be in India. The mixed bag was with dad's health complications. Even tho everything went off wonderfully well, there is now this fear planted (locked deep inside a chest in my heart coz i don't think I could survive & function everyday without) in my heart and just this slap-in-your-face realization that the parents are growing old. Missed V a lot. Wish he would have been there. Having Bumblebee was a godsend - i don't think i would have the courage to deal with everything otherwise!

But there were precious moments spent with my parents n with my in-laws which i will always treasure! And the best gift, having the sis in law a few house away in this part of the world! All which ended the trip on a happy note! :)

New York - was a trip of friends!! Meeting K after forever was sooooo good! I cannot believe its been 2 years since we met! Time really does fly when you are super involved in your own lives!! This time Bumblebee n her husband also bonded which was nice for us to both see! :) I am looking forward to such trips being planned for the rest of our lives with 1 n then 2 kinds in tow! ;) lol! *touchwood* And i also got to meet V! I met him at our wedding last & that really does not count! He is still the same boy i remember from col altho he professes to have grown up! i do miss him n it was amazing to hang out with him!

Of course the weather in NY was the warmest when I was there - I have like the worst luck when it comes to seeing snow!! :( There were teeny tiny flurries one of the evenings when we were at Rockefeller center & I was just left thinking how awesome it would be if it actually snowed!! Ohh and we finally did the walk to Central Park! I finally saw all the awesome places in the park where they keep shooting films! It was very pretty but I bet is even prettier in the summer/ fall! It was overall a really fun trip!! :)

Phew - it was an amazing trip! Leaving you with a pic of how I felt throughout the month!! :D